| Managing many relationships at once |
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If you have established a one-on-one relationship with one girl and she sees/discovers/hears you chase other girls, it is quite natural for her to assume, that you are doing that to have ensuing one-on-one relationships with those other girls, thus abandoning her and leaving her all alone. She will feel miserable, deceived, unhappy etc and you are the cause of all that. So have you been cruel and insensitive? Yes. For having chased other girls? No. You have been cruel and insensitive for having established a one-on-one relationship and thus giving her grounds to assume that your chasing other girls will mean the end of your relationship with her. Of course, you can do all the explaining you want with her now, but the fact is - you have been leading her in a false direction. In order to avoid any such unpleasant consequences, frame your relationship with her the way _you_ would like to see it from the start. If you want to be with her but not with her exclusively, let her know. If she walks then most probably she wouldn't have fitted into your future anyway. If she stays, it has been _her_ decision to accept your terms and now you won't have to worry about keeping your possible "adventures" a secret from her or how hurt she might feel if they came to her knowledge, she won't have to feel paranoid, jealeous or miserable because she knows, that as the two of you are not in a strict, traditional and monogamous one-on-one relationship, a new relationship of yours will not endanger her position the way it usually would, plus, should she feel like it, she is free to pursue any interests of hers without feelings of guilt or shame as well:) (Don't tell her that last thing though - she might take a "you are free to meet other people as well" the wrong way, it just too well a known substitute for "I'm dumping you", which is _not_ what you mean). As for the right time to frame the relationship (if a relationship is something you want with her in the first place) - there is no right time. It is however probably best to frame it only after she has had the chance to taste _all_ the goodies that come with being with you (so that she'll know exactly what she'll be missing out on while her "sisters" are getting it, should she decide to walk:) but before she has come to expect a traditional relationship with you and especially before her she will start feeling her expectations of a traditional relationship with you being threatened by your more than friendly interactions with various other females (so that she will not be hurt and can be the judge of her actions now that she has an understanding of the situation). So if you want relationships but don't want to be confined to them - be discreetly honest, tell her you want her but that you are already engaged in a couple of relationships of a more physical nature, and as those girls also know that neither of them is your only one, so should she, and now that she knows the situation, the decision as to a further course of action (either staying and accepting, or leaving) is up to her to make. Update A practical suggestion by Alphahot1, ASF: "If you're going to be some kinda player, know that the average guy can handle roughly about 3 women at any time. That is, not all at once (although that happens too sometimes) but over time, assuming of course that you are COMPLETELY accommodating all 3 (or however many) women. I have found that a practice that works very well, going with the above figures, is to keep from 5 to 6 women on the string at all times. 3 in "active" mode and at least 2 or 3 in the wings. I have found this to be a very good practice for being assured of being laid almost every night, if you so desire. If any of your 5 or 6 women start to get out of line and start giving you trouble, DUMP her immediately and replace her, always keeping the numbers right about the same. The key of course here is OPTIONS. Generally, the more options you have, the better off you will always be. Just don't get TOO many - that can sometimes be just as bad or even worse than not having any options at all. So if you have any kind of life whatsoever other than just women, I think you will find TOTALLY accommodating about 3 of them to be just about a full time job." Update How to frame the whole situation, when the question of dating many women concurrently does come up with one of the girls. Marcus, Clifford's Seduction Newsletter: "It doesn't matter how many people we can share our affections with, but rather it's about how well we can truly be with whom we're with when we're with them." |
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